Wednesday, October 2, 2013

263 DAYS: A Renewed Focus, A New Cause

Kristin receiving one of many Chemo treatments
It has been 263 days since my last post. During that absence I have gone though quite a few life changes and overcome some tough hurdles in my life. Needless to say, in spite of my blog’s title and theme, I did not do a good job of defying procrastination - that is until recently.

The biggest hurdle I stumbled over was learning that my youngest daughter had decided to give up her first child for adoption – my first grandchild. Although I offered my support in her decision, I did not agree with it. Secretly it ate at my insides like a festering cancer. It was like losing a child.

I think adoption is a wonderful gift, and have come across many people in my life that have benefited from it, but for me, in this situation, I couldn’t help but feel immensely hurt. I would never be able to hold my little grandson in my arms - squeeze him, tickle him until he begged me to stop, teach him how to throw a football, share family photos and memories with him, watch his eyes light up at Christmas, take him to his first ballgame, read bedtime stories to him, witness his first little league game, or never ever hear the words “Papa,” or “Grandpa” come from his little mouth.

I was devastated.

Life has thrown many tough hurdles in front of me throughout my life, so I was a veteran at dealing with the pain – so I thought. I swallowed my despair and kept going. What I didn’t realize was how the misery inside me was affecting those around me, specifically my home life. I was making everyone around me miserable too. I was finding every excuse under the sun not to write, even though deep inside words begged to be put to virtual paper, and so I languished.

This internal battle went on for several months unconsciously until it was brought to my attention by someone close to me.  It wasn’t until then that I had a moment of clarity and fully understood that I was suffering from depression.

After a few counseling sessions and some heart to heart talks, the weight - the burden laboring on my troubled heart was lifted. My vision, my lust for life returned, and so did my passion for writing.

Recently I launched my first self-published eBook “Her Special Day Shoes.” The story of Rachael was born from a picture that won the photo contest I started when I launched my blog a few years ago. Sue, the sweet lady who entered the contest, submitted a picture of her daughter Rachael’s shoes that she wore on her wedding day.

However, the feelings of adulation and pride were short-lived when I learned that my close friend Kristin had been diagnosed with Stage 3 HER2 breast cancer. There was no way I could be happy for myself when I knew that someone that I loved and cared about so deeply was in for the fight of her life. That, and my recent personal battles seemed pale in comparison to what Kristin was going through.

I wanted to do something special for Kristin and her family, and was fumbling for ideas until late one night while lying in bed – it hit me. It seemed that it was fate that October, the designated Breast Cancer Awareness month, was just a few days away. So I decided to dedicate my book to Kristin and donate all of the profits from it to her and the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

Link to Kristin's National Breast Cancer Foundation page

The following days were a whirlwind of activity, and few hours of sleep, as I prepared for the re-launch of my eBook on Oct. 1st. Everything went off without a hitch and I’m proud to say that with generosity of the community at large, at the time of this posting, “Her Special Day Shoes,” has skyrocketed from the top 200k downloads to the top 35k downloads at in under 24hrs.

Thank you to everyone who has or will purchase this humble little book, or has helped me spread the word. Please continue to do so.

Please help me spread this video. Thank you!

Amazon Link to “Her Special Day Shoes”:
Kristin’s National Breast Cancer Foundation page:
Kristin’s Story and her Caring Bridge page:
Tribute video to Kristin from me:

Some of my writer friends graciously supporting the cause, THANK YOU!

Chiz over at Chiz Chat:
Daniel over at Nest Expressed:

Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination 

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